Embracing Eternity Read online

  Or maybe he felt nothing for her. In ten thousand years, he’d surely moved on. Kissing was the most effective way to transfer power. More than likely that’s all the kiss was.

  No. That couldn’t be. A simple transfer of power had never been that hot before. Even her deprived senses couldn’t mistake the heat flowing from him. Besides, he had no reason to feed her and every reason to let her starve. There was no way he would have given her power if it didn’t mean something to him.

  Dammit, none of this made sense.

  A ratlike squeak came from behind her and a set of sharp teeth sank into her knee. The drain on her power was instantaneous. Scowling, she turned and kicked the imp away before it could steal any more of her fresh power. The filthy little thief.

  Baring its teeth, the imp snapped at her again, this time managing to take a chunk of flesh. With a curse, she hit it with a bolt of power, knocking it away from her before it could do any more damage.

  Lessers were vicious creatures. They always followed the demons in hopes of a secondhand meal, but they weren’t shy about stealing sustenance directly. Fortunately this one was alone and little more than a nuisance, but in packs, they could drain even the strongest of archdemons. Not only that but they acted as spies for Lucifer. To hide from the Devil, one had to hide from his minions, and they were never far away.

  How she hated the disgusting scavengers.

  She gave the angel in the window one last look before moving away from the edge. If the imp let Lucifer know she was mooning over Evan, all Hell would break loose on her ass…literally. If there was one thing she didn’t need, it was to make her liege any madder than he already was.

  The less he knew about tonight, the better.

  Using some of the power Evan had given her, she transformed her appearance once more. The demonlike blackened ropes of her hair shifted into silky waves of gold and brown. She clothed herself in a dress so skimpy it might as well have not been there. The scarlet fabric dipped low between her breasts and the skirt hem clung to the curve of her ass. The winter air chilled her bare back and pebbled her nipples under the thin fabric.

  It was too damn cold. But there was a little place not far from here where she could heat things up nicely.

  Flush with power, it barely took a thought for her to relocate to the middle of her favorite club’s dance floor, just another body in the crush. Around her, dancers moved with the pulse of music.

  It didn’t take but a few seconds before she felt a hand at her waist as a stranger claimed her attention. Her lips curled upward in satisfaction. This was why the club was one of her favorite hunting spots. It was always full of sinners just looking for a bit of temptation.

  She turned, predatory instincts on full alert, and gave the human holding her an enticing smile. Dance with me. His voice was lost to the throbbing music, but she could easily read the words on his lips.

  Oh, she would. The pretty human let his body brush hers, using the music as an excuse to test her responsiveness, to see if she’d let him slide his hand up under her skirt. It was a game she’d played many times before. Out of habit, she looked for a hidden alcove or a corner where they could fuck. The bathrooms were always an option but she disliked sex in such a foul place.

  The human moved closer, ground his hip against her, and realization struck.

  She didn’t want sex with him. She didn’t want to lead him to a corner or anywhere else. She didn’t want to tempt him at all.

  Her body was so full of Evan’s rich power, she had no need to lead this one astray, no need to feed on sin. All she needed to do was simply…have fun.

  Dance. Enjoy. Take pleasure that was simple in its purity.

  Yes, that was exactly what she would do tonight.

  She eased her body away from his and moved away.

  With a laugh, she raised her hands over her head and lost herself to the music.

  * * * * *

  Evan sat in the plush leather chair, his face burning and his wings stiff against his back. This had been a very bad idea. Staring at the plain brown wall, he tried not to listen to the noises coming from the bedroom.

  If only he could have waited until morning to visit Ren. Or perhaps he should have followed human etiquette and given warning he was coming.

  Ah, not the best choice of words. His face grew hotter as a shout echoed down the hallway. He should leave here. Renatus and his human were obviously not available for visitors. But if Evan went to Heaven, there was no guarantee he’d be allowed to return to speak with Ren at a more convenient time. While he’d only agreed to stay until morning, there was a chance that once there, he’d be forbidden to return to Earth.

  He ran a hand over his flight feathers, nervously preening the already well-tended quills. Maybe he should consider changing back into his robes before speaking with Ren. They were better for hiding the embarrassing state the lovers’ sounds had created than the tight jeans he’d worn to approach Meela.

  The thought of her combined with the sounds of pleasure had the human clothing fitting even tighter. He’d never been able to resist her. The most beautiful cherub in all of Heaven, she’d broken his heart when she Fell.

  He’d sat through her entire trial, his heart and soul aching. He hadn’t wanted to believe it was happening, that the one he loved so fiercely could be guilty of trying to wrest control of the universe from the Most High. He’d even begged for mercy on her behalf.

  But Meela had refused to repent, had stood defiant, and in the end, left Heaven laughing.

  An entire existence spent waiting, hoping she would take note of him, and in an instant, Judgment passed and she was gone, cast out with the rest of those who stood by Lucifer.

  Evan dismissed the painful memory with a shake of his wings. The male groans from the other room had quieted and Evan sent out a gentle call to Ren. An answering crash came from the bedroom, along with a human curse and a stream of hushed words.

  A few moments later, Ren appeared on the couch. His jeans appeared to be hastily donned, still unbuttoned at the waist, and his chest was bare. Evan could not ever recall seeing Ren so disheveled.

  Ren stretched his snowy wings out on either side of him and settled back into the cushions, relaxed and all but glowing with contentment.

  “I apologize for my ill-timed visit, Renatus.” Evan shifted awkwardly in the chair and dropped his gaze to Ren’s feet. The sight of the seraph’s bare toes only increased his embarrassment, a reminder of what he’d interrupted.

  “Greetings, Evangelos. You are always welcome in our home.” Ren smiled, genuinely happy to see him. Was it just a few months ago such a visit would have earned Evan a disapproving frown?

  “Adam might not feel the same at the moment.” Evan shifted and glanced toward the bedroom, where the human no doubt lounged in his warm bed, waiting for Ren to return.

  “Adam welcomes you as wholeheartedly as I. He thinks of you with affection.”

  Evan nodded, humbled by their open acceptance of his intrusion. “I wish this could have waited until morning at least.”

  “Nonsense. If something is important enough to send you to me now then we will deal with it now.” Ren leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. It struck Evan that he’d never seen his friend so at ease before, not even in Heaven. Adam had been good for Ren.

  “Now, tell me what has you so concerned,” Ren said.

  “Meela.”

  Ren’s jaw hardened and his hands curled into fists. The agitated flutter of his wings echoed in the otherwise silent room. “What has the demoness done this time?”

  “Nothing. She is blameless.”

  Ren choked on a laugh. “There are many ways to describe Meela. Blameless is not among them.”

  “She has been since you returned to Adam.”

  Ren’s face darkened and the pain in his eyes chilled Evan. Ren’s relationship with the human had not been completely Lawful, and Meela had taken advantage. When consequences were tallied, the penalty req
uired of Ren had been steep. It was clear that taste of Hell haunted him still.

  Evan also bore the burden of failing to protect Ren. Failing as a Guardian was unacceptable and any soul lost, even one later reclaimed, was inexcusable.

  However, he could not allow the blame for that time to be laid at the wrong feet.

  “That was not her fault,” he reminded Ren. “In the end you only bore the burden of your own mistake.”

  “She hurt Adam.”

  “The injury he suffered was nothing compared to the pain of losing you.”

  Ren was silent for a long moment. Evan could make out the faint rustle of fabric from down the hallway. Adam was getting impatient.

  “What do you need to know?” Ren finally asked.

  “What must she do to return to Heaven?”

  “You want to take a demon to Heaven? For what purpose?” Ren’s brow wrinkled with confusion.

  “No. I want her to be redeemed.”

  Ren blew out a shocked breath and slumped back onto the couch, his wings drooping on either side of him. “You ask too much.”

  “Do I?”

  “Evan, she has Fallen. There is no redemption for her. It isn’t possible.”

  A twinge of pain hit Evan in the center of his chest, as if something inside him had been damaged, chipped away.

  “I will not believe that. I cannot.” There had to be a way. He was a Guardian Angel, one of Raphael’s chosen. He did not give up on souls.

  “Evan—”

  “No. Whatever you have to say, no.” Evan jumped to his feet and began to pace. He could not accept anything said with such pacifying tones. He didn’t want to be soothed.

  Once he’d kissed her, everything changed for him. This idea of bringing her home had taken root and deep down he was certain it was the right thing to do. The moment his lips had touched hers, he’d felt her loneliness, her heartsickness and the desire to go home, to Heaven.

  He wanted to do this for her. He was determined to bring Meela home and would accept nothing less. “I want you to read over the Law, consult with the Archangel Gabriel. Take it to the Most High himself. There must be some hope for her.”

  “She is not the same cherub we once knew. She has changed.”

  “She’s not as changed as you believe.”

  “Or perhaps she’s not as unchanged as you imagine.”

  Evan wouldn’t believe that. He couldn’t. Beneath the façade of careless play, Meela had always had a loving and generous heart. It was who she was, and an angel could never change their core being.

  Not even when they Fell.

  Ren studied him, his piercing eyes fixed on Evan for so long it made Evan’s feathers itch. “Are you truly prepared for this? You may not like the answers I find.”

  “I must know. I cannot continue to stand by, helpless.”

  Renatus sighed and scratched at the denim covering his knee, studied the worn fabric with an intensity that had Evan wondering just what the other angel saw in those threads.

  “I’ll begin searching the records in the morning. If there is any precedent for the redemption of the lost, I will find it for you.”

  Evan collapsed back into the couch and released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Relief had his hands trembling. He doubted his watery knees would hold him and if he tried to transport himself on a thought there was no telling what realm he’d end up in.

  Renatus was one of Heaven’s top legalists. If there was an answer to this dilemma, Renatus would surely be the one to find it.

  “I thank you. I realize this is no small thing I ask.”

  Ren waved one hand dismissively. “You took care of Adam. That is a debt I can never repay. My hesitancy comes not from the task but from the results. What you wish is impossible and I do not want you to be disappointed.”

  “I ask only that you try for me. For Meela.”

  Ren shuddered. “For you.”

  Evan nodded in understanding. Meela had done much harm, to some more than others. Ren was not ready to forgive.

  He rose slowly, testing his wobbly knees. There seemed little left to say, so he gave Ren a formal bow and without another word, he returned home.

  Chapter Three

  The peace woke her. It wasn’t the abrupt waking she was accustomed to, but a slow rise to consciousness. The strangeness of it permeated her sleep until she was forced to wake and see what was wrong.

  Meela didn’t move for long moments, her eyes closed, her mind alert for the scurry of lesser demons. She hadn’t been attacked at any point, but that didn’t mean they weren’t nearby, watching, waiting to tell Lucifer. The Master didn’t like it when his servants rested, and sleep this satisfying would surely earn punishment.

  But after three days of fun, three days of burning through the power Evan had fed her, she was too tired to do anything else.

  She strained to hear something, anything. But the vastness of the silence was enough to make her ears ache.

  She opened her eyes cautiously, holding still as stone.

  And found herself in the warmth of summer.

  From above came shifting light filtering through the treetops, and the ground under her was warm from soaking in the sun.

  She basked in the heat, holding on to every second she could. She didn’t want to sit up and face reality. Because it wasn’t summer, and she most definitely hadn’t gone to sleep in the woods.

  “I know you’re awake, little dancer.”

  The rich baritone erased her lingering lethargy in an instant.

  “Don’t call me that.” Meela sat up fast enough to leave her head spinning and her stomach churning. She swayed, falling heavily on one elbow.

  “Shh. Don’t rise so fast. The power has waned and you are weak.” Evan’s hands were on her, steadying and supporting her.

  Support. It had been so long since anyone had held her up, helped her. So long the sensation was alien.

  But not unwelcomed. The urge to sink into his arms was so very strong. The memory of his hands on her body was too fresh, the taste of him on her lips too vivid.

  Who knew angels could offer temptation too?

  “Hung over is more like it,” she groused, pulling away from his strong arms. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in Heaven singing praises or something?”

  “I was in Heaven, but I returned as soon as I’d been given leave.”

  Been given leave? That sounded like he’d been recalled. Someone probably found out he’d been slumming it with a demon.

  Self-righteous pricks.

  “And you came running back to me. I bet Raphael will love that. Hanging out with a demon when you should be off protecting someone.”

  “I’m protecting you.” Evan cocked his head to one side and gave her a look that said that should have been obvious.

  Maybe it should have been. He was a Guardian. They did shit like that. Why he was doing it for her was the part that didn’t make sense.

  “I think you’re a little confused, Evan. I don’t need guarding. You’re supposed to be protecting people from me, not protecting me. Aren’t you afraid the Most High will smite you?”

  “Why would He?”

  Meela blew out an irritated huff. “You are being deliberately obtuse.”

  Struggling to her feet, she swayed unsteadily. In a blink, Evan was there again, offering his arm for balance, his protective nature obviously in full swing, just as his blind devotion to her was still very much there.

  She tried to convince herself it was annoying.

  “News flash, Evan. Angels and demons don’t mix. You’re consorting with the enemy. Do you really think He’s not going to notice?”

  “You’ve never been my enemy, Philomela.” Evan hesitated ever so slightly before he stroked a hand over her hair to cup the back of her neck. The pause was barely noticeable, but enough to tell her he wasn’t as confident as he wished her to believe. His eyes went dark and his lips parted ever so slightly. With that one ha
nd he tugged her in close, until her breasts flattened against his chest and his head dipped ever so slightly.

  Need surged, unbidden and overwhelming. Her breath caught and her heart fluttered like a wild thing caught in her chest. He was going to kiss her. Again.

  And oh, how she wanted him to. Just for a moment she could pretend, couldn’t she? Could make believe the last ten thousand years hadn’t happened and it was just them, one seraph kissing a cherub he wanted.

  The thick lumps of her dreadlocks pressed into her head, another unwelcome reminder that it wasn’t the same, of how she’d changed. She wasn’t a cherub anymore.

  She carried the soul-deep stain of evil.

  Bracing her hands on his chest, she shoved him away and tried not to notice the glimmer of hurt in his eyes.

  “You’ve been my enemy since the realms were cleaved in two and time began.” She turned her back and moved far enough away to keep herself from giving in to the need to throw herself back in his arms. “An angel and a demon can’t be anything else.”

  As she drew farther away from him she noticed a low hum of power against her face. For the first time she realized the dappled light of the summer sun was blurry. Unfocused blobs of shifting gold and green surrounded her instead of the sharp outlines of trees and leaves.

  An illusion. But what kind? She’d never seen anything like this before.

  “Evan, where are we?”

  “I didn’t move you. We are still in the city, still safe in your hiding place.”

  “Some hiding place. You found me.” The abandoned theater was a favorite nesting ground when she was in the city. Few humans wandered through the area, which meant lessers tended to avoid it as well. She wasn’t completely hidden, but these walls generally provided some measure of sanctuary.

  “You carried my power. It led me to you.”

  He’d put a damn tracking signal on her.

  “If I’m still in the same place then what is this?” She waved at the summery illusion.

  “Ah. This is comfort. And a little privacy too. If those little creatures Lucifer created found you full of angelic power they would have descended like vultures.”